


Memories That Really Matter

by 7SabSantos53



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: #bughead, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 06:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7SabSantos53/pseuds/7SabSantos53
Summary: She knew very well why she had already burned all the other diaries. And she knew what had made her leave that one last, why it was harder to burn than the others. And it had nothing to do with her childhood.
Relationships: Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Memories That Really Matter

**Author's Note:**

> If you asked me before the leak of the 4x17 episode if I saw myself writing fanfics my answer would be no. I had never done that before and I didn't think I could write at all. And Riverdale isn't even my favorite show, (although Bughead is among my favorite couples), even so, here I am, already writing the third fanfic on the same topic: how will Betty and Jughead be okay after what she did? The 4x18 episode left me a little more relieved, but I won't be watching Riverdale yet. And only two things would make me watch: Betty being sincere and Jug forgiving her (although she would have to fight to regain his trust), or if even if they broke up, none would go out with anyone else. First because if they are with other people when they fall in love again, that would be emotional betrayal, and it would be wrong, even though it is our ship. Second because wasting time with someone you don't really love, it was something Betty has already done with Archie, IF that's what she needed to know that she loves Jug, well, then she already knows. Until then, I'm enjoying the victory we had in the last episode. Here are some things I wanted to see on the show about Betty falling in love with Jug. Hope you like it. I've said it before, but if it's the first time you're reading something I write: English is not my first language, I'm still learning. So you will probably find errors.

Her mother might think that there were many childhood memories there. But that was not exactly what made her keep the diary. She knew very well why she had already burned all the other diaries. And she knew what had made her leave that one last, why it was harder to burn than the others. And it had nothing to do with her childhood.  
It had been a strange day, to say the least. Let's say that her mind thinking about Jug, Archie, graduation approaching, the weird tapes that were showing up and her sex tape with Jug leaking, was enough to drive the 'most common people' crazy. Quoting Cheryl Blossom's words here. Cheryl Blossom. Betty and Jug had recently arrived from the girl's house. The same girl who had saved Betty's relationship. Now that she looked back, she wondered how she could even doubt. She knew she loved Jug so much. How were she able to get confused? Do something so stupid that it might make her lose him? She didn't even want to think about losing him. If she could go back in time, she would never hurt him like that, ever. With those thoughts in mind, she found herself going back to the diary she had kept. She had already reread it completely. But that diary was special. It contained the whole story of how she fell in love, and this time for real. And then she found herself going back to the most important parts.

"Today was not a normal day. Although in Riverdale lately nothing seems normal. We found out where Polly is. Not that this is all good news, since she is in a horrible place. I don't know what to do. I want to get my sister out of there, I also want to know what happened. With so much that Jug and I are discovering, I feel like I can't trust my own mind anymore. Everything I've ever known, seems to be falling apart. And I think it would have collapsed too, had it not been for him. Jug has been with me since things started to go completely crazy. And now looking back, I realize that in fact, he has been here for me for a long time. Today he kissed me. I didn't know that I wanted to kiss him so badly until today. He's been the only good thing in the midst of so much chaos. I hope he hasn't regretted it, because I don't. I feel good around him. I don't feel the need to pretend when I'm with him, or to try to prove who I am. I have a feeling he knows." 

"Today Jug brought me home. He didn't seem to know what we are. I don't care, as long as he stays here with me, because that's what I want. I like the feel of his hand in mine. I like his lips on mine. But mostly, I like how he seems to like being with me. Regardless of what we are doing, he never seems to want to be anywhere else or with someone else. I feel like he wants to be with me too. I don't know what I am feeling, but it is very good."

"Today was Polly's baby shower. Everything went well. Or at least as much as possible. Jug was so kind, helped us so much, and was there with us the whole time. Even though I know it's not exactly his definition of fun. It was not long ago that Veronica was the first to refer to him as my boyfriend, I know that all this is as new for him as for me, but he didn't even seem bothered. I think he liked it as much as I did. But today was also the day I found out who his father is. His father is from the Serpents, a dangerous gang. Jug and I asked him about Jason Blossom. Jug believed his father when his father replied that he had nothing to do with it. I believe in Jug. He takes care of me. He's true to me. He hugs me when my world comes crashing down. He doesn't let me give up, he trusts my potential. He has faith in me. And I have faith in him. I want to know him. I want to know everything about who he is. I want him to know me even more too. I want this between us not to stop. Oh, dear diary, I think I'm falling in love again."

"Another day full of ups and downs. Today was Jug's birthday, things got out of control. In the beginning, all I wanted to do was do something good. I was losing control of myself again, and hurting myself. I didn't want to be that person, so I tried to do something good for someone I love. Because oh diary, I love him. I know that now. It all started when things went wrong on his birthday. He didn't want that party, and he was upset, I realized that. But the most painful thing was seeing him believing that I would trade him for Archie at the first opportunity. I realized then that everything I felt for Archie is different from what I feel for Jug. I'm not going to lie that I wasn't in love with Archie, I was. But my feelings for him were based on something that had never happened, what I wanted us to have. My feelings for Jug are based on what we have. This is real, it is no longer just something I wanted. It exists. Our 'we' exists. It is real, true, stronger than I thought it would be. I thought I loved it before and I was so silly. Just the idea of leaving Jug when I heard him say that hurt me. I can't even think of doing that. I want him here, with me, and not just for now. I don't want this to end. I don't want someone else. I want him. We are so different... He said that today. But we are also very similar in so many ways. He didn't judge me when Chuck said those horrible things at the party. He acted in a way I would never have imagined. I didn't know he was going to punch Chuck to defend me. Even when I thought he would end it all between us, he protected me. And then afterwards, he was so sincere. About how it scared him to have someone care about him. I couldn't believe he was apologizing when I threw a party he didn't want. But yes, he didn't make excuses or blame me. He was honest. He told me what had bothered him. And then I told him. I showed him the marks that my darkness leaves on me. He didn't judge me, he didn't think I was weird or bad. In fact, he even looked sad to see these marks, as if he couldn't stand them being there, he seemed to want to take my pain away. He didn't hate me, he didn't hate me for fighting or not being perfect. He stayed there for me, and I know he wants to stay here for me. I never felt that way when I fell in love before. Before, I always thought I needed to be perfect to deserve love. I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like I can just be myself, with my mistakes and defects, I don't need to prove myself as good as I tried to do with that party. He wants the defective part of me too, the dark part. He wants everything and doesn't judge me for being like that. And now I know that love makes you feel free, you can just be you. This is how I feel with Jug, and now I know that this is real love, nothing that I thought I felt before could compare." 

"I think I broke Jug's heart, and knowing it destroyed me. We fought at the ball today because I lied to him. Jug looked so happy about dinner that my mom had invited him and his dad, talked about an important step in our relationship and I just couldn't hurt him. He was so happy. He said he would give up moving with his family for me. We almost lost him, I think that after that fight he would have left. I'll do my best, I still can't believe that Jug's father killed Jason Blossom, he's being framed, and we're going to prove it. Although we lied, Jug was back to normal with us, or at least as normal as it gets when his father is in jail. I don't want to lie to him anymore, I don't want to see that look of sadness and disappointment in his eyes anymore." 

"He loves me too. He said he loves me. I am so happy. But today the Southside Serpents told Jug to join them if he wanted to. Jug is also going to study on the south side. I'm scared. I'm afraid of what this civil war in Riverdale will do to us. I don't want to lose him. I don't know what will happen, but I will always fight for us. Our love is true and we will not lose it." 

It was then that she saw Jug getting out of the shower and heading towards their bed and found herself thinking that she couldn't continue to lie to him. He would be sad. Angry for sure. But she couldn't lie to him. She had done this a few times already. Both had, always had ended badly. They worked much better when they were honest and open about what they were feeling. He needed to know. She didn't want to lose him, she was scared just by the thought of it happening. But she needed to let him know what had happened. It wouldn't be easy, and she had no idea what his decision would be. Maybe he would forgive her, she hoped he would. She knew she was wrong, but she would beg for his forgiveness if she needed to. Maybe he didn't forgive her, and that was a possibility she didn't even want to think about. But whatever he decided, she would always fight for them. She would not give up on the love of her life.  
"Jug, we need to talk, I... I need to tell you something. "

**Author's Note:**

> It was very unfair for the episode not to give us flashbacks of Bughead. I didn't even watch the episode, but when I heard that Betty had ended that shit with Archie, I was hoping that they had some memories of her and Jug too. Unfortunately it didn't happen, but that's what fanfics are for, right?


End file.
